


Hive John

by LitGal



Series: Hive [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Bug!John, M/M, Transformation, Wraith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:02:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1675667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitGal/pseuds/LitGal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has been away from the city for a while, and it's time for him to head home.  That sounds so innocent.  However, John and Rodney have been prisoners of Todd, and the Wraith has found a way to do what Michael could not--create true hybrids.</p><p>With John firmly under control, Todd sets his sights on a new objective: Atlantis herself.  He sends his favorite slave to deliver the city of the Ancients and all her people into the hands of the Wraith.  John just might go along with the plan</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John leaned back against the rock and let the warmth of it soak into his muscles. When he wasn't on the hive, the world felt so cold that he never seemed comfortable in his own skin. He knew that was partly the change and partly Todd's conditioning. It didn't matter. The Wraith DNA was enough to override the parts of his brain that could control when he felt comfortable, even if John was still painfully aware of it.

Like now.

Atlantis soldiers walked through the event horizon, their weapons held high. The second they spotted him, their weapons moved--they moved to cover him, to check around him, to watch for an ambush using him as the bait. If John had orders to hurt any of these people, it would have really, really sucked. As it was, he kept leaning on his rock, soaking up the sun, and waiting.

Lorne moved carefully forward, and John grinned at him. Clearly that wasn't reassuring.

"Colonel," Lorne said carefully.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm a colonel anymore," John pointed out. At best the Air Force considered him a POW, a damaged hero to be locked away. If they didn't believe in the power of the Wraith procedure to change a human mind, they'd consider John a traitor.

"So what are you?" Lorne came right out and asked.

John grinned wider. "You always did have the balls to deal with a problem head on. I always liked that about you, except when it made you confrontational with Rodney."

"And how is Dr. McKay?" Lorne asked.

"I thought you wanted to know what I was," John said with a mock pout. Todd might own most of his mind, but John was still John. He sometimes wondered if Todd hadn't left him and Rodney so much of their original personalities because the Wraith had an odd preference for being annoyed. Two of the soldiers moved around John, pointing weapons at his back.

"Okay, I'll take either answer," Lorne said. The "sir" at the end was conspicuous in its absence.

"I'm Todd's. Rodney's the same," John answered. "If you forget that, someone is going to get hurt."

John watched the men around him tense up at the statement. He laughed. "You really thought you were going to find Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, good little Earther who only disobeyed when it came to saving the universe, didn't you?"

"We hoped," Lorne said stiffly. "We hoped this was a way for you to get us information on Todd."

"Oh, I can get you information, but only the information Todd wants you to have. For example, he's willing to call a truce if you do."

Lorne got a nasty smile on his face. "Are we getting a little too close? Blowing up a few too many of his hive ships?"

John was almost embarrassed by Lorne's arrogance and ignorance. If this is how Lorne acted, then John knew he'd been twice as bad. That was... uncomfortable. He really didn't want to be reminded of how badly he'd treated his master. "You haven't hit one of them yet, but you're making the other Wraith desperate, and desperate enemies are hard to predict."

"So, Todd's concerned about us?"

John shrugged. Not really. The only thing that worried Todd was that Atlantis would get destroyed before he could claim the best of the city for his own. He had John and Rodney. He had Major Dorsey and Sergeants Stackhouse and Mehra. A half dozen soldiers had died testing the procedure, and a half dozen more were like John, hive slaves. Of course Todd hadn't left them all of them as much personality, but Todd saw the world in terms of thinkers and workers, warriors and drones. He saw the turned slaves the same. Those he valued for their ability to think became thinkers--changed but still possessing much of their original personality. Stackhouse and Mehra and Rodney had come through sounding like themselves. John really didn't like even seeing what happened to the workers. If Todd ordered them to walk out into open space, they would.

However, Todd had others he wanted to claim, others whose personalities he valued. He wanted Carson and Teyla. John's guts rolled a little at that last, but he knew that if he had an opportunity, he would deliver his friend to Todd just as Rodney had stood by and watched him be turned.

John had screamed and fought, but Todd's drones had shoved him in the pod, and Rodney had stood at his side passively. Now John understood that the battle still raged in Rodney's heart, but then... then he'd believed that Rodney had turned on him. Not that Rodney had a choice. Even then John understood that the turning process was absolute.

"Woolsey said that we have to bring you back to Atlantis for any negotiations," Lorne said. John could see the lie in the way his body heat shifted.

"Okay," he said. Lorne hadn't said anything John hadn't been prepared to hear. If all else failed, Todd and Rodney would come get him. John was sure of that. Locked into the hive mind, he could feel the web of them in his head, and he was close to the center of that web. They would not let him be ripped out of the pattern.

Lorne traded wary glances with Coughlin, who had been his second ever since Stevens had died. John remembered the guilt he felt because Stevens had died trying to get iratus eggs to save him, but that was another lifetime. The new John could look at Coughlin without remembering his predecessor.

Rolling his yellowed eyes, John held his wrists out. "It's not like I thought you'd let me stroll into the place unguarded. If you tried, I'd kick your asses for forgetting everything I ever taught you about security."

Coughlin pulled cuffs out of his tac vest and started moving closer. John made sure he didn't twitch at all as Coughlin locked them around his wrists. They should use the heavily padded and reinforced restraints they'd used on Todd. John was stronger now. Given some time, he could pull the links apart on the flimsy chain between his wrists or he could pull hard enough to pop the internal ratchet on the cuff.

"God, I'm sorry, sir," Lorne said, emotion staining his words in a strange way that John couldn't describe, only feel.

"Shit happens," John said with a shrug. This body rebelled for a moment at being restrained, and John took a few deep breaths to center himself and push back the insect instincts. "I remember a time that I would have hated myself for being like this, but now that I'm like this, I can't imagine any other way. I'm fine." John was then about knocked off his feet by the wave of others' emotions. They jangled against his nerves in a cacophony of close-not-right. They weren't hive. They weren't even like him with the glands and hormones to tangle himself in the web of thought. They were different, and yet John could still feel their guilt, their regret. It stained the air.

"We should have found you."

"With one hyperdrive ship and the Travelers pissed at you over some IOC politics? You never had a chance. We knew that." John didn't know why he wanted to comfort them, but he remembered a time when comforting them would have been a priority, and he still felt the urge, like scratching a spot even after you put medicine on it. "Should we go?" John used his chained hands to gesture toward the Stargate.

"We have orders to shoot you if you do anything unexpected," Lorne warned him.

John grinned. "I'm sure you do."

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

John paced the length of the cell, which wasn't far.

"Do you mind?" Rodney snapped.

"Actually yes, yes I do mind. I'm pacing here, so you can move your legs." John hated himself about two seconds after he snapped Rodney's head off, but he had a right to panic too. The problem was, he couldn't. Not around Rodney. The second John had one little moment of 'Aw shit, we're all going to die,' Rodney would freak out. Completely and totally freak out. So John ended up being mean.

Rodney gave him a wounded expression and pulled his legs in. He was already nursing a badly injured shoulder, and that made John feel even worse.

He leaned back against the wall and slid down. "Teyla and Ronon got away. They'll get help," John said.

"I miss the old days of stupid Wraith with their idiotic jail doors," Rodney said, and John had to agree. This time they'd been put down a shaft. The "entrance" to their cell was twenty feet up into the air, and there was no way they were going to get themselves out of it. None.

"Ronon will make fun of us for not being able to save ourselves and singlehandedly take out the hive," John said sadly.

"He'll make fun of you. You ran the wrong direction."

"I was trying to provide a distraction!" John defended himself. However, he did have to admit that for a couple of seconds while the darts few through the air, he had gone the wrong way. He wondered if those few seconds had allowed the Wraith to capture him and Rodney.

John had seen Rodney swept up in the beam. Teyla had already gone through the Ring and Ronon was standing at the side of it, firing his weapon at the darts, but John had frozen. He'd seen his friend vanish and he'd had a moment of horror so terrible that it froze his limbs. And when he started running again, it had been too late.

"Maybe we’ll find out where Dorsey went to," Rodney mused.

"That is not making me feel better."

"What? We were looking for clues."

"Yeah, but if we are in the same place they are, that means we're going to be just as difficult to find."

Rodney's expression twisted as if that hadn't occurred to him before, but John knew him too well. Despite his attempts to look clueless, Rodney had picked up a lot of military strategy during their time together. John could only wish he'd picked up half as much physics. The grate above them retracted and a shadow appeared at the top of the narrow shaft.

"The one called Sheppard will come up."

Rodney stood and grabbed John's arm with his good hand. "No," he whispered roughly.

John's stomach was in knots, but he had to face reality here. "We don't have a choice," he said. He didn't add that he would rather face their enemy than sit in the bottom of a pit while Rodney did it. He assumed Rodney understood that much about him.

A platform lowered and John and Rodney both had to stand at the edges of the cell to avoid getting hit. When it touched the ground, John stepped onto it and held the ropes. The platform then moved steadily up, taking him away from Rodney.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

The second John stepped through the Gate to Atlantis, he collapsed in pain, the city's song ripping through his head. Around him voices cried, and John skittered away from the rough emotions staining the air. He instinctive reached out for Todd, for Rodney. They should be there. He needed them, but Atlantis' song cut like knives.

A hand touched him bringing the stain of wrong-wrong-wrong, and John skittered away. Something tugged on his wrist, and he tore it off and pressed himself into the dimmest corner he could find. Still, light spilled onto him, and he couldn't find hive. In his head, the place of hive screamed out in pain as the city song tried to drown it.

John wrapped his hands around his head and hummed, pushing other sounds away as he searched for the threads that would stabilize him. Again, hands reached for him, and the air was thick with wrong-wrong, and John pushed himself back, back as he tried to sort through his fears and his insect fears without the hive to give him a center.

"John."

The word penetrated because it was one Todd valued. This individual was mission central. Protect. Show her respect. Show her strength. Ease her transition. Give the master a chance to claim her.

John looked at her through narrowed eyes. He had to focus for her. He couldn't look weak in front of her. "Teyla," he whispered.

She smiled sadly. "John, what is wrong?"

"The city. I can hear it, but it's like a screeching in my head. It hurts."

Teyla looked over her shoulder at someone else. Another to who should see John's pride in his change. One who should see honesty. "Carson," John whispered.

"Aye, lad." Carson knelt down next to Teyla. "ATA gene holders often have a sense of the city, so it could be that you've kept the sense of her, but the Wraith DNA is making that uncomfortable."

"Then what do we do?" The voice was of one of no worth. John ignored it.

"We canna keep him here in pain."

"Christ." That was Lorne. John was starting to sort it out in his mind.

"I need time. I have to get used to it," John said.

"You can't handle this much pain," Carson disagreed.

John grinned at him. "I'm stronger now. I'll be fine. I just have to get used to it. I didn't expect--" John didn't expect the first true home he'd known in twenty years to turn on him. His smile faded. Normally hive took away that sense of loss that he would sometimes encounter because of his change. Todd had given more than he had taken. But now John couldn't feel them.

Rodney must be panicking. Rodney relied on the mental connections more than any of them. Rodney who never understood people... who never could believe what people said because he had no way to judge their honesty... he counted on his ability to feel the rest of them. He'd learned to trust because he knew their heart.

Sometimes John would wake up in the night to feel Rodney's bright and frenetic mind sliding past his, seeking out hidden corners. John would lie there, open to Rodney, letting him explore the memories and old pains John hid from non-hive. He let Rodney slide into the teasing affection John felt for him. He would open himself to Rodney's need to be loved, and he could feel his own desire to protect rise to fill that space until they moved together in unison. Sometimes it turned sexual. Other times they would simply wrap themselves around each other. Occasionally Todd would seek them out when they were tangled in each other and he would lie down next to them, his strength giving them a center around which they could wind their more flexible thoughts.

"Rodney," John sighed.

"He's not here, John," Teyla answered even though he hadn't been speaking to her.

"We need to get him off the Wraith enzymes," Carson said.

That would be hard to do, but John didn't have the energy to explain that to them right now. He reached for that part of him that should be there. Closing his eyes, he called to hive, to any member of the hive. He had to intentionally block out Teyla because he could feel her like a bright beacon, and he needed to seek the others.

A tendril touched his mind, and then another and another. John could feel the web begin to rebuild in his mind. Rodney was frantic. His mind was skittering like spiders into every corner of John, as though he had to check every neuron to make sure it wasn't damaged. John smiled at the familiar touch. And Todd was there. Strong. Steady. Master. Center. Hive. Mehra was angry. She would stand between him and danger. She found him and latched on so strong that John gasped. Stackhouse was her shadow, watching… watching. Suspicion. Not-hive fears. Todd soothed them all.

John sighed and slowly opened his eyes. He was crammed into a corner near the storage closet. Teyla and Carson were crouched near him. Ronon and Lorne stood back a way, each holding a weapon aimed right at his head. Woolsey stood a bit behind Lorne. He'd be smarter to stand behind Ronon, but it wasn't John's job to think defensive logistics anymore.

Others were crowded into the gate room too. Familiar faces and unfamiliar ones. He blinked as he stared at one man near the back. "O'Neill?"

The man stepped closer, and John recognized the warrior patterns. Todd was immediately interested, and John's instincts sharpened so that when he breathed he scented the air for O'Neill, and he studied the energies that made the man unique so that John would be able to find him, even in the pitch of night.

"That's General O'Neill to you," O'Neill corrected him, but the humor held a caution the others didn't have. He knew. The others still hoped to save Colonel John Sheppard, but O'Neill knew that John was irrevocably changed. John could feel Todd's sudden concern. This one would put a gun to John's head and pull the trigger. All Rodney's little thought spiders went utterly still, and then they all twitched to life, running around John's brain is if they could stop the bullet though sheer force of will. If anyone could do that, Rodney could, but John doubted it.

John pushed himself up, and Teyla and Carson both stood and back away quickly. That's when John noticed he'd snapped the handcuffs. So much for playing nice.

"I keep pointing out Lorne that I'm not exactly in the Air Force anymore," John said.

"I don't remember discharging you," O'Neill said. His eyes were calculating.

"Okay," John said, "how about we let Carson do a physical and then you can kick me out. Trust me, I'm not going to pass any physicals."

O'Neill deliberately let his gaze move down to John's hands. "I don't know. You seem in pretty good health to me."

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

John hated the thick Wraith binds. Wraith were supposed to be arrogant. Stupid. Wraith let the team run around the insides of ships without ever noticing. So these changes were more than a little unsettling. John was tightly tied with his arms at his sides, he'd been warned to play nice or they would kill Rodney, and they'd blindfolded him. This was feeling far more serious than any of their previous captures. John had to keep telling himself to keep calm and watch for normal Wraith arrogance to save the day.

A hand grabbed his arm, stopping him, and then someone hit the back of his legs, and he crashed forward onto his knees.

"Subtle. You know, you could have just asked," John said as he settled himself without even trying to get up.

Someone chuckled. Okay, that wasn't right. Wraith didn't like his sense of humor. John's guts tangled as he tried to do a threat assessment without being able to see anyone. Maybe they'd missed one of Michael's experiments. Hell, maybe this was a Michael clone. This felt a little like one of Michael's schemes.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, stand," a human voice ordered.

Okay, so they were going for games. Knock him down and then make him stand. They had the power, and as long as Rodney was in that pit, John would do his best to play nice. He rocked forward and then used his momentum to roll up to his feet. "Colonel Sheppard. That's me. So, who am I talking to?"

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, kneel."

"This is going to get old fast," John muttered, but he lowered himself back down.

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, stand."

"What is the point of such an exercise?" a Wraith asked as John was pushing himself to his feet again. He was right. It was getting old already.

"The prisoner is reminded of his own helplessness to resist," the unknown human answered. "If he attempts to resist, then he will be punished. If he cooperates, then his cooperation can be slowly turned to other more significant tasks. It allows the captor to show the prisoner that there are rewards for cooperating. If he follows directions, he may be given words of praise, a touch, or just freedom from pain."

John took a deep breath. That was not only a little terrifying--hearing it all laid out in black and white--but it was also very U.S. military trained. John had no idea why he said that, but it was true. At the same time, the voice explaining this was utterly flat and missing all human emotion.

"Really?" the Wraith said. "Kneel, Sheppard."

"Todd," John said as he finally placed the voice.

Todd chuckled. "If he does not obey, what is the punishment?"

John thought about Rodney in the bottom of that pit, and he sank to his knees. A hand came to rest on his head, and John had to fight the urge to flinch away. "So, what is this? You finally got bored playing with your own minions and decided to go shopping for some more?"

Todd ran his fingers through John's hair, which was entirely new levels of disturbing. Worse, John knew how screwed he was. The feeding enzyme had forced Ronon to turn Wraith worshipper, so John’s only hope of escape was death. If his heart didn’t fail, he was lost. John had a very bad feeling he knew where their missing reconnaissance teams had gone to.

"Maybe you just want a little revenge for keeping you locked up. I should point out that we let you leave Atlantis when we got back to the Pegasus galaxy," John said.

"You asked for permission to shoot me."

"Well, yeah," John agreed, "but I didn't."

"Because the one you call Woolsey would not allow it. That was a tactical error."

John grimaced. "Yeah, I told him that. He said the IOC was not into executing prisoners, especially not ones who had helped us. I pointed out that you never helped us--you helped yourself."

"You have always understood my position so much better than the others do."

"Yeah? So, what's your game this time?"

"Humanity has been pushed to the edge of extinction. The other hives have harvested far more than humans can afford to lose. Entire worlds are empty. Civilizations gone."

"I'm sure you weep for them," John cut him off. He didn't need to hear this.

"And what will the Wraith feed upon when their culling grounds are barren?”

“I weep for them,” John said.

“I am a seeker of solutions. You have presented an opportunity."

Oh that did not sound good. That did not sound good at all.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

John looked around the familiar infirmary. It seemed that nothing had changed, and yet he saw it all differently. The edges were sharper and too much light poured in, obscuring the details. Every movement as nurses walked the room forced his eyefocus to shift and the smells… John was fascinated by the smells.

“This is for security, and we both know you would insist on security,” Carson said as he reached for the restraints.

“That’s fine,” John said. One broken cuff still circled his left wrist, and John slipped a finger under it and yanked hard, pulling the metal free before he tossed it to the side. Lorne swallowed and gripped his gun a little tighter. “I’m not sure those are going to hold, though,” he warned.

Lorne spoke up before Carson could answer. “Use the Wraith restraints.”

Carson turned on him. “But this is—”

“Carson, the military controls security,” John cut him off. Carson gave him a sad look and then retreated.

Most of the crowd had vanished, but John still had a fairly large audience. Ronon had taken up position in a corner, and Teyla stood at his side. Woolsey stood near O’Neill, and John turned that direction as he started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Can’t say I expected that,” O’Neill said. When Woolsey opened his mouth, O’Neill took a step forward. It cut Woolsey off and forced John’s eyefocus to him. John wondered if that was intentional. Did he understand how the iratus instincts worked in John?

John shrugged. “I trained these people. Don’t you think I want them to perform well?”

“I don’t know. I kinda figured you were here to kill them,” O’Neill said.

John tilted his head to one side. “That’s why you’re here. You think they can’t be objective.”

“I know they can’t,” O’Neill said. “They may cut you more slack than you deserve, but I’ll kill you where you sit, Sheppard.”

John finished unbuttoning his shirt, and he shrugged it off. He heard a gasp behind him. He knew what they were seeing because he remembered when Todd had removed the blindfold and he’d seen Lieutenant Reed’s back. The Wraith skin was thickest along the spine. John and Rodney had a bluish hue as did Mehra. Most of the others including Reed had a hue that more closely matched Todd’s own green. The spine stood out, the Wraith seed taking root there and then tendrils reached into the body. The color then went up the sides of the neck and ended in a mere shadow on the lower part of the face. If a person didn’t look carefully, they might look at John’s face and mistake him for human, except that John had inherited the Wraith eyes. He was the only one of them who had, and Todd suspected the fact that he’d carried iratus DNA before the seeding probably changed the course of the infection in him.

On Rodney, the bluish hints along his jaw and his brilliant blue eyes made him infinitely more beautiful. Of course John could also be overly influenced by Rodney’s own preference for John’s light blue neck that led into his black hair.

“Carson is going to want to scan my back. If he gets it in his head to try and remove the Wraith DNA, trust me, I would rather you put a bullet in my head than I would try to endure the pain of that.”

O’Neill looked past John’s shoulder to where Carson probably stood. John could smell him, so he knew Carson was close. He missed that sense of space he got from having hive members near. With Rodney and one or two others in a room, it was like they could track everyone in the room by their heat or scent—no need to look. John felt cut off without that sense of space.

Rodney’s brain spiders moved a little faster, no doubt a desire to comfort him with a reminder that they were still linked, even if they were physically separated.

“Todd, he’s picked up where Michael left off then?” Carson asked. He came around and he had thick, metal reinforced restraints. John doubted he could break them.

“Not at all,” John said. “Todd found those experiments abhorrent. Michael wanted to create a race in his own image. Todd thought he would have been better off taking the medicine and remaining human.”

“You disagree?” Carson asked.

John smiled. “I like Michael dead. What he did to Teyla and her people…” John looked over, but Teyla had on her best diplomatic expression—the one that said she was deeply bothered but that she would not offend others by telling them she was deeply bothered.. “I wish I could kill him again,” John finished.

O’Neill moved again, demanding John’s attention. “So, you’re the warmer, friendlier version of one of Michael’s experiments then?” O’Neill guessed. He was close to violence. John could feel the danger, and Todd was unhappy. He had not known the other human would get involved. John waited as one of the male nurses fastened the restraints around his wrists before adding the thick belt and locking it in place. Only once he finished did John look up.

“I’m not warm or friendly,” John said. “I am Todd’s creature. He has agreed to let me negotiate for a truce.”

“So you want a truce, not Todd?” Woolsey asked, jumping on that wording.

John looked over at him. “I can never want something different from Todd. Todd has no preference on the issue, so I can want a truce. He then allowed me to seek it instead of forbidding it or simply forming an opinion of his own strong enough to wipe mine out,” John said. Todd had told him to go for sharp honesty, so he was.

“He totally controls you then?” O’Neill asked.

John slowly looked over. “Yes.”

Before John could blink, Ronon was there, gun pointed at John’s head and his finger on the trigger. “We should kill him.”

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“How screwed are we?” Rodney demanded the second the lift lowered John back down into the cell.

“Well, I found Lieutenant Reed,” John said. “That’s good… right?”

Rodney narrowed his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

John sighed. There was so much wrong that he had no idea where to even start. There were layers of wrong sandwiched between more layers of just disturbing.

“Oh shit,” Rodney said softly. Some days John missed having teammates who didn’t know him so well. Teyla and Ronon and Rodney could tell everything from a single twitch. “How bad?” Rodney demanded.

“Todd has all Michael’s research and Carson’s research and the research from the Wraith scientist who was messing with Teyla’s people.” John stopped, not sure how to get into the next part. He waited too long because Rodney poked him with a sharp finger.

“Go on!”

“He thinks he has a way to make humans strong enough to survive multiple feedings. Instead of killing people, a Wraith could have his own little haram and feed from them.”

“So then Wraith could live off Wraith worshippers. I like that plan,” Rodney said.

“He plans to use us as harem girls.”

Rodney lost all the color out of his face, and John had another of those guilty flashes. He really needed to stop poking Rodney. It wasn’t nice.

“That might have been putting it a little bluntly,” John reassured him.

“No it wasn’t. You’re just trying to make me feel better by saying it was,” Rodney said. John really hated having team members who knew him. His ability to lie convincingly was inversely proportional to how well people knew him.

John sank down against one wall. “He has infected Reed with some sort of… what he calls seed.”

“Infected?” And there was Rodney’s disgust face. Anything that touched on infection or pus was sure to inspire it. However, John didn’t know any other way to explain it.

“He uses embryonic cells along the spine. Part of Reed is a Wraith, mostly along his back. It seems to take over the nervous system altogether. The front of him is still human, so Todd can still feed.”

Rodney slid down the opposite wall, but the cell was so small that meant their legs were now lying side by side. “It took over his nervous system? You’re talking Invasion of the Body Snatchers, aren’t you? Full on pod people? Mindless slavery inside a walking, talking body? Kill me now.” Rodney said the last bit softly, but John could also hear the determination behind them. Rodney would rather be dead that be a mindless drone.

John got up onto his knees and grabbed Rodney’s hands. “Hey, we’ve gotten out of worst situations.”

After pulling his hands away, Rodney gestured up at the ceiling. “Seriously? Do you seriously think we’ve gotten out of worse than this? Newsflash Colonel Optimist, we haven’t.”

“Then we hold onto hope number two.”

Rodney gave him a desperate look. “Is this a real hope or more of your crazy cheerfulness that clearly shows a lack of intelligence?”

“Todd doesn’t want to seed us until he can find a way to leave more of the higher cognitive functions uninfected. Weirdly he wants us to still be us even after he’s linked all our instincts and lower brain functions to Wraith DNA.”

Rodney stared at him.

“That’s good because it’s going to take him a while to figure out. It gives Ronon time to find us.” John smiled at Rodney.

Eventually Rodney sighed. “That kind of optimism is probably linked to repeated blows to the head as a child.”

 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

John looked at Ronon, saw his intent to kill. “Rodney will want to blow you and the city up if you do that, and I’m not sure Todd cares enough to stop him,” John pointed out. He knew that no personal plea would work because Ronon could only see the marks of the Wraith on John’s body. His hatred was like a living creature that wrapped around him. Todd was interested in Ronon, in that brilliant tactical mind that hid behind the silence and feigned barbarism. John thought they would all be safer killing Ronon before attempting the seeding, but he truly didn’t get to keep preference that put him in conflict with Todd. So now John felt a need to bring Ronon into the hive, even as he knew his own preference was to allow Ronon a quick and honorable death.

“Ronon, this is not acceptable behavior,” Woolsey said, which was a pretty worthless thing to say, but then he stepped between them. Ronon immediately pointed the gun at the floor.

“That isn’t John Sheppard. We shouldn’t let it run around in his body.”

“I’m not sure I disagree,” O’Neill said, “but we are going to learn what we need to know first.”

Carson turned on all of them, his body hot with indignation. “After everything the colonel has done for us, the least we can do is try to save him from this. Ronon, when the Wraith got you addicted to the enzyme, he sat at your bed as you cursed him and begged for death. Teyla, you know what he did to get your people back. Will you turn your backs on him now when he needs you?”

The speech didn’t affect Ronon at all, but Teyla stepped forward and rested her hand on Ronon’s arm. “Come,” she said softly. Ronon hesitated, and the danger was still there, rolling under the skin.

“Teyla,” John said softly. He knew that to speak to Ronon now was to invite death. She looked at him without even trying to hide her pain. It was a good first step. “I remember enough to know that I grieve for what I lost and what I was.” John didn’t know if that even made any sense, but it was the closest he could come to mourning for her lost friend. That John Sheppard was gone, and the current John Sheppard didn’t want him back. That life had been too isolated, too full of fear and repression and guilt. He had hurt others in his clumsy attempts to connect with them, and he had been hurt so often that he could no longer trust anyone. He remembered the man who had turned on Rodney after Doranda—after a simple mistake made by a scientist who wanted to save them all—and he felt shame at what he did.

Rodney rushed a hundred thought spiders to that memory, obscuring it under layers of forgive-forgive-forgive. It nearly brought tears to John’s eyes. That John would never know what it felt like to have this. This was worth more than all the days of Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard’s life. Todd moved like a cool balm through his mind, and John refocused on O’Neill as Teyla urged Ronon out of the room.

O’Neill watched him curiously. “I wonder how much of this is an act.”

“Todd told me not to lie, not directly. Wraith have difficulties with lies, so he prefers me to either answer or decline, but never lie.” John knew the full truth was more complex. Wraith were always aware of those dimensions that sat closest to their own. It was like watching one reality bleed into another, and to lie was to confuse the realities. However, humans did not need to know that.

“You won’t lie, huh?” O’Neill gave him a nasty grin. “Where is Todd’s hive ship?”

“He prefers I not say.”

“And you can’t do anything without his permission,” O’Neill finished.

John tilted his head to the side. That idea bothered O’Neill. Perhaps it was his history with the goa’uld that gave him such a strong flavor of disgust at the idea. “No, I can do many things without his permission. Rodney and I sometimes have sex. He does not care enough to have a preference, so it is our choice.”

John noted the various reactions. A nurse giggled, Woolsey’s eyes got large, but O’Neill didn’t react at all.

“Huh,” he said, “I thought you were already doing him.” It was said crudely, but that rough language was intentional. He hoped to see John’s emotions. Humans were very transparent, which led to another round of embarrassment for John when he considered how his master must have seen him. Todd sent a cool wash of amusement through him. Todd had enjoyed John’s honesty and his willingness to lead his people on new paths, even when those new paths had been poorly navigated. There was no shame in being human when he’d had no other choice.

“Neither of us trusted the other enough to engage in a relationship,” John said honestly. After the joining, John realized that Rodney hadn’t trusted Jennifer, either. He had been convinced that she would eventually leave him, and he had plans to store up the sexual adventures and envy of his fellow man like a hoarder putting away gold until the day that he woke up to find a note and her missing. It was only in the hive that Rodney had finally trusted that someone wanted him forever.

O’Neill did not look amused. “Okay, then tell us the truth about what Todd has done to you.”

John smiled. He knew this answer well. “He seeded us. He used embryonic cells of a Wraith to alter us. We have Wraith glands, Wraith strength, Wraith longevity, but we consume human foods and can feed our masters. If our minds are strong before the seeding, we can retain much of our personalities and preferences from before the seeding, but the instinctive part of our mind is controlled by the Wraith DNA within us, and the Wraith within us is controlled by the hive master. Wraith society is hierarchical. Todd is the head of our hierarchy and the center of all our instinctive responses.”

“Good lord,” Carson said softly.

John continued “Michael took adult humans, which is what gave Todd the idea. However, he used much of the research done on Teyla’s ancestors. That scientist attempted to incorporate the Wraith DNA into the human. Todd added Wraith structures while leaving the human DNA untouched.”

“How?” Carson asked.

“He cut my back open along the spine, exposing the bone and nerve tissue. He then added the Wraith cells and covered them with a nutrient layer before binding me and sealing me in a grown pod for the duration of the change,” John answered.

Woolsey lost much of his color. Even O’Neill looked a little bothered.

“How much pain did you suffer?” Carson looked like he didn’t want the answer, but Todd’s preference for avoiding lies wouldn’t allow John to give an easy answer.

“I screamed for days. The pod fills with a fluid that supports the body, so the screams were silent, but I screamed. If I hadn’t been bound, I would have ripped the pod open and begged for death.”

Woolsey took a step backward and leaned against the wall. His body heat shifted into a pattern of illness, and Carson’s was chaotic.

“Todd could have addicted me to the enzyme first and ordered me to not feel the pain, but I told him that I’d rather cut off my own nuts than worship him, so he did it the hard way.” John remembered those things, but they sat oddly in his memory now because they made no sense. Todd was not a god to worship, true; however, he was the master of the hive. He was the center of their web. And Todd’s plans for the Wraith might be the only way to save humanity from those Wraith who would hunt the species out of existence. The others might rely on secrets to protect Earth, but John knew something they didn’t.

A species that could spy on neighboring realities would eventually spot a dimension where the Wraith had already found their new feeding grounds. It was a matter of when, but John would never be prey. He was hive.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Yep, this is what I do when I’m supposedly taking notes in a meeting. I doubt I will come back here, but feel free to pick this bunny up and run if you’d like.

Can Carson cure John?  
Will John and Todd take over Atlantis?  
How will the other hives see this new hybrid?  
Will John bring home his master’s prizes—Carson and Teyla?  
Will he claim O’Neill as another prize for his master, and where is Daniel?

If you feel like having fun, go for it.


	2. Chapter 2

I really thought I was done. I guess not.

 

John sat on the bench in the center of the Wraith cell and closed his eyes. He could feel the city around him pulsing with an unfamiliar melody. It didn't hurt anymore, but it wasn't the song of hive or even the warm presence he'd always felt in the back of his head when he'd come back to the city after being away. There was no welcome here.

The thoughts of the others had faded so that only one or two of Rodney's thought spiders lay sleeping in a corner of his mind. Todd had them working on other things, no doubt. It was John's turn to wait and rest now.

He felt someone moving toward him, a dull glow of life that didn't match the brilliance of his hive mates. However, he opened his eyes anyway. Lorne stood there outside the bars.

"You move more like a Wraith than John Sheppard," Lorne said. Always for the direct path.

John shrugged. "Wraith have iratus DNA in them, so now I do too. It's the nature of the bug to either be at full energy or to conserve by going into a near meditative state. Trust me, I am nowhere nearly as efficient as a Wraith at doing that." John stood and stretched, his back stiff as the Wraith muscles moved slowly to come out of their resting. Hive master said to rest and grow strong, and the Wraith parts within John would obey.

"Carson is upset that O'Neill ordered you removed from the infirmary."

John shrugged. "Once he saw how much of my body has been converted into a Wraith, it was inevitable. I expected it."

"Did you expect us to lock you up instead of negotiating the truce?" Lorne demanded.

If John said yes, Lorne would start wondering about ulterior motives. If John said no, it was a lie and Lorne should still worry. John said something that was neither. "Now that you see me, you know that I can't be changed back. It would be easier to turn me into a Wraith, but Todd doesn't want that. Atlantis has started something dangerous, something that could destroy both species. Peace is in both our interests, and maybe if you understand that I am no longer your colonel to be rescued at all costs, you will begin to discuss what does matter."

"It seems like we had a truce with a queen before. It didn't end well. You remember that, right?"

"Todd's not a queen."

"Meaning?"

John tilted his head. There was so much in that question that Lorne did not understand. The queens were the strength of the Wraith, but when the elder queens died in battles with each other and only the younger ones remained, they were also the folly of the species. "Todd refuses to serve a queen. He seeks solutions that are more creative--that would allow for both humans and Wraith to live." Todd was also older than any living queen, and to serve a creature younger than oneself felt wrong to Todd, just as living alone did. He had found a solution.

"Humans as slaves," Lorne said with disgust. He looked at John like he was a piece of filth. True, John didn't look his best in an orange jump suit and restraints, but he wasn't disgusting. He could feel Todd's attention shift his way, the cooling presence of his hive master welcome in this world where all the humans hated him.

"In Todd's mind, what he's offered us is a blessing. He would never accept any human into his hive unless he was convinced the human brought skills enough to be worthy. The second Rodney and I challenged him, baited him, proved that we were his equals, we set this up."

"So, he'll still kill any farmers or merchants he culls," Lorne finished. As interrogations went, it was clumsily done, but John could see the emotions battling in Lorne. The man was far more bothered by John's transformation than John had expected.

"He is unlikely to cull any. He can feed from us, and we can feed on human food. When Rodney first heard of Todd's plan, he actually liked it. He said the Wraith could have their harems and leave humans alone." John grinned. "Then I pointed out that Todd wanted us as harem girls, and he was less in favor of it."

"So, we let Todd have his slaves, take our people, and he'll give us peace?"

"Todd already has us," John pointed out. "You don't have to let him have anything. And Todd offers only a truce with Atlantis."

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

"Todd, don't do this," John begged. If it got Rodney off the rack, John would beg, plead, he'd fucking worship this bastard, if that's what it took. "I'll do it. I'll worship you," John yelled.

Rodney hung form the organic rack, his white hair and deep wrinkles the outward sign of his pain, but he still lifted his head. "John, no," he whispered.

"God. Rodney." John cried. He didn't care about anything anymore because they weren't getting out of here, so manly pride didn't count for much, but he had to save Rodney from the pain. Mehra held him tightly, her Wraith-hybrid strength too much, even when John had gone wild. Still, he couldn't stand by while Todd did this. He twisted around and threw his best punch at Mehra. He managed to force her to take a step back, and he tried to follow up on that advantage, but she was too strong.

Then Todd's oversized hand caught him around the neck, those claws pressing into the tender flesh.

"John!" Rodney cried out, his voice trembling with age.

"Enough," Todd said, with a slight shake. John was shaking as he clawed at Todd's arm. Todd leaned close until he whispered in John's ear. "This is to spare him pain. The transition will be easier if I can soothe his mind. If you want to help him, encourage him to yield."

"Take me instead. I'll yield," John said. And he meant it. To save Rodney, he would give himself to Todd. He'd try and let down all the barriers and really give himself.

"John, no," Rodney cried out weakly. John couldn't stop the tears any more than he could stop Todd from pulling him out of the room. Todd took him to a side chamber and threw him on the center table. John lay there. Unmoving. Unable to do anything. John had suffered torture, but he'd never been forced to watch a friend suffer. But then Rodney was more than just a friend. He was John's best friend--the only person John turned to when he was carrying too much and needed to smile, the person John was charged with protecting. He'd failed.

Todd rested his hand on John's head, and the gesture was too familiar for John to care anymore. If Todd drained him, it would be a blessing. The only thing that kept John from begging for it was that it would leave Rodney alone.

"Does Dusty Mehra suffer?" Todd asked.

It was hard to tell. She certainly flinched away from some tasks, but then Todd would send one of the workers to finish it, and it wasn't like she showed any sign of helping them. When John had first seen Sergeant Mehra, when she'd smiled and her face had lit with joy, John had this moment of relief so great that it had almost been painful. Then he noticed the blue stain of her neck, her dark clothing, and her loose hair. She wasn't part of a rescue. That had been the first time John had even considered that they weren't going to be rescued.

Todd moved his hand until he was almost petting John. "If I have no access to his mind, I cannot protect him from the pain of the change. If you care for him, urge him to yield John. Get him to yield and I will spare him as much pain as I can. Do this for him."

 

\----------------

 

O'Neill had visited some time after Lorne left. He asked about the people, and John had answered. Some were dead. Some were changed. Of those that were changed, there were the ones who had some part of themselves remaining, and others who were no more than drones.

John had refused to talk about the drones. When O'Neill had pushed, when he had suggested that Todd had ordered him to keep the drones secret, John had finally grown angry and yelled. He pointed out that Todd had no preferences, but that John didn't want to talk about the people who had essentially died because John had not rescued them. They were gone as surely as if they'd been shot in the head, and Todd used their bodies as a labor force.

O'Neill had finally left.

He never had asked the right question. Would others turn out that way? Probably. The seeding was an infection of a sort, an intelligent virus guided by Wraith intent that ate away human tissue and allowed Wraith parts to grow in their place. Some people would not have the immune system or strength to defend their most critical functions, and the seeding would destroy their mind leaving Wraith cells to set up colonies where once they'd had memories of family and honor and love.

When meals came, John ate what was put in front of him. When Woosley appeared, he ignored the man altogether. He had no real power as long as O'Neill was in the city, and John knew it. Likely Woolsey knew it as well, although he persisted on standing outside the bars and asking questions and talking to John about what had happened in the city since he left. Torren had fallen down the stairs and broken out his front tooth. Cooper had been promoted. Rivero returned to Earth on a medical discharge after developing a severe allergy. John listened passively.

John didn't really pay much attention to any of them until Radek came into the room. His gaze darted from the floor to the cell controls to the floor again, each time carefully passing over John without lingering on him too long.

"Radek." John breathed the word and he could feel the web of his mind come alive. Todd was there, commanding John's Wraith parts to start their new task. Rodney was there, desperate for a look at his friend--the only person he had every truly trusted before the hive.

"Yes. Well." Radek finally looked at John, and all the human biological markers of pain radiated from him.

"I'm sorry," John said. He was. This was hurting Radek and hurting Rodney, and through the hive, hurting the rest of them.

"Did he hurt?" Radek asked, lifting his chin as though preparing for a blow.

"He hurt when Todd addicted him to the enzyme," John said. "Todd fed from him and then pushed the lifeforce back into him over and over until Rodney stopped fighting. That allowed Todd to move into Rodney's mind and block the pain of the actual conversion. He slept through that."

"He was a great mind." It sounded like Radek was preparing Rodney's eulogy.

John moved to the bars. "He still is a great mind. He loves you like a friend. Before we were in the hive together, before we shared thoughts with each other, I never understood how often I hurt him. You were always there, though. You were the one he counted on when I was careless with him."

"He would say he needed nothing of me," Radek said with a huff.

"And we both know how untrue that is. You were the only one who he could always turn to." Guilt gnawed at the edges of John's awareness. "What I did after Doranda... I never should have treated him that way. And when he started to date Jennifer, I was... distant." John had been afraid, but he didn't say that. Radek was not-hive, and John did not want not-hive to have too much of him.

"He was a petty man," Radek said, but he made the words sound fond.

"I promise you that I am more careful with him now that I feel his pain. I always respected him, Radek. He was always my friend. I just wasn't good at showing that friendship. I am better now." John needed Radek to believe him. His Wraith DNA wanted more of Radek, but John could not push these humans too fast. Their suspicions were already too high.

"But he is no longer truly Rodney," Radek said, and the pain was so strong that John could taste it.

"He is. The virus... Todd wouldn't use it on me or Rodney until he was sure he could keep it out of the brain's higher level functions. Rodney is still Rodney. I mean, when he got his hands on the hive cooling system, he ripped everyone apart. He told Todd that he was surprised Todd didn't blow himself up. He called Todd an idiot and his ship a piece of crap and said that if he was going to be a Wraith, he was going to be a Wraith that flew around in a ship that wasn't held together with snot and hope, and whoever had designed their hives should be shot."

Radek chuckled. "That sounds like Rodney."

"It is. And he gets going and his mind..." John pressed his palm to the side of his head. "It's like looking into the sun. He sees so much, and it all gets overlit, and it's hard to focus on anything, and the whole hive is stained with his raw brilliance until we're all almost drunk with it."

John knew the tactical value of what he was saying, even if Radek didn't. He could just imagine O'Neill watching on a monitor, groaning as it occurred to him that Rodney was now building ships and weapons for the Wraith. O'Neill had never respected Rodney, but now that he was on the opposite side, he would have good cause to fear him.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

John sat on the bed beside Rodney. He was going to be sick. The Wraith skin across Rodney's back was thick and cool and blue, and his back looked knobby. That was because the spine stood out more than it should, each vertebrae now surrounded by thick Wraith tissue so that nothing human remained except the bone. 

John had betrayed him, had talked him into giving up. Now Rodney was paying the price. However John couldn't watch him hurt any more. There was no rescue coming, no last minute save, no Colonel Carter or Major Lorne leading the cavalry to their side. John thought about the future he’d visited, the one where Michael and his clones had won and a sad old Rodney whose Jennifer had died of cancer reprogrammed a hologram to wait for him. He wondered if that future was better than the one John had created—first by coming back from that world and then by talking Rodney into giving himself to a monster.

Todd moved, and John hunched his shoulders. He should have died in Afghanistan. Maybe a better officer would have found a way out. He couldn’t see Lorne cupping Rodney’s cheeks and begging him to give up, to give himself to a monster. John had. He had delivered Rodney to Todd, and he would never forgive himself.

“He wakes,” Todd said. Todd kept promising that Rodney would still be Rodney, but John didn’t believe it. The blue was brightest along his knobbed spine, but it spread up into his neck and the underside of his jaw and even a little onto his cheeks. It drifted across his shoulders in streaks that faded out toward the front. It grew thickest around his lower back and stained his genitals blue. Lord knows how many of Rodney’s insides were now Wraith.

John watched with a sick sort of dread as Rodney’s eyes fluttered open. He saw John and for a half second, John’s friend was there. Then there was a moment of hesitation, a flash of confusion, and Rodney’s gaze sought out Todd.

John couldn’t breathe.

He backed away while Todd moved to Rodney’s side, clicking and making a small humming noise. That’s what Rodney wanted now. Todd. Everything Rodney was—the limitless love for a simple animal and the near inability to love anyone more complex--his adoration of his sister and his desire to keep her at arm’s length—his unmitigated arrogance and his complete lack of confidence—it was all gone. The beautiful, complex knot that was Rodney was gone, and this blue stained monster that was neither human nor Wraith was in his place.

John didn’t want to live anymore. He didn’t deserve to. Todd could have his body, but John suspected his soul would end up somewhere far less pleasant. Until this moment, John hadn’t given much thought to hell. He figured that his desire to do the right thing would win out in the end. Right now, he knew that his intentions meant nothing and he hoped there was a hell. He hoped to wake up there.

When he stood, Mehra moved closer, her dark eyes suspicious. Was it some last vestige of her humanity that warned her that now would be the time for John to do something desperate? If John could kill himself and take the whole hive with him, he would. But he couldn’t, so he was going to let Todd do the killing. John would die the same way Rodney had, but he didn’t plan on making it nearly as easy on himself.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Tell General O’Neill it’s time for us to figure out what music we’re dancing to,” John said at the next guard change. They rarely sent in any men that might have known John, so the Daedalus must be docked. Either that or Lorne had really been asking for a lot of reinforcements.

“Hey!” John shouted louder when the airmen didn’t react. “Did you hear me?”

One of the new arrivals pointed a weapon at him. “Quiet down.”

“Really? Yeah, that’s going to work. You don’t have permission to shoot me, so try that on someone who doesn’t know the Geneva convention and who hasn’t been through the war college. Now someone needs to get General O’Neill down here.”

One of the departing guards made eye contact with John for a half second, but then he hurried out of the room. Either he was agreeing to get O’Neill or he just didn’t want to be the same room with the freakshow for one second longer.

The big one stepped up to the bars. “Don’t act like you’re one of us. My team lead got goa’ulded. I know you’re not John Sheppard and I have no trouble shooting you.”

“You need to not engage prisoners when on duty, Senior Airman Morrison,” John said, reading the faded tag on his uniform. The move was calculated to piss the guy off, because this Morrison wanted power. He wanted to feel like he was better than John. So when John used his name and put himself on the same equal footing, Morrison was going to hate it. 

Todd sent a warning through his mind. Where Rodney’s thoughts were either like a sun or like the delicate feet of spiders, depending on what he was thinking about or where he was, Todd always felt like a strong ray or rod that pierced John’s awareness. Right now that was a prickly rod with little flares of heat that warned John away from this course of action. However John was bored. Better to be in deep shit than be bored.

John could feel Todd’s resignation at that thought. One of Rodney’s thought spiders stirred, but then it quickly curled up and went back to sleep, so Todd had him distracted. Good. Sometimes Rodney wanted to be everywhere in the hive at once. He wanted to feel everything. But sometimes he needed protecting because he took too much to heart. It was best that Todd kept him safely separate in case John’s plan backfired.

“Back away from the bars,” Morrison snarled. 

“No.” John looked back at the airman with the calm of a man who had a plan. It wasn’t a good plan, but Todd wanted him to start spreading a little Wraith DNA around, and John couldn’t do that from in here. So he needed out.

“Back away!”

“You know, saying it louder generally doesn’t result in different results,” John pointed out. “And it just opens you up to sarcasm. I mean, if O’Neill were here in the cell and you tried that on him, I’m just imagining the truly biting things he would say about your intelligence.”

Morrison was turning red now.

“Hey,” he partner-in-guard said, “don’t worry about him. He’s the one locked in a little cell with bug DNA.”

“Yeah, airman,” John said, emphasizing his rank. “Aren’t you a little old to be an airman? I mean, I was a captain by the time I was your age.”

Morrison went deadly still. His partner must have known something was wrong because he used the butt of his gun to hit the force field. “Enough!” he barked out.

“Right,” John said sarcastically as he nodded, “because that always works. The last time I asked an Afghani Taliban to sit down and please stop spitting, he did and he thanked me for reminding him of his manners. That tour in Afghanistan I did defending my country, it taught me so much.” John was laying it on thick, but he needed to push one of them past their breaking point. He’d thought it would be Morrison, but Morrison’s partner suddenly slapped his hand down on the force field controls and put the end of his P-90 through the horizontal bars.

“Shut up!” he yelled.

“Now that’s a serious breach of security. I would assign you to unarmed combat training classes with Ronon for at least a month if you’d done that when I was CO here,” John said. His put every bit of contempt and authority into his voice that he could, and sure enough, the guard pulled the trigger.

John flew backward, and suddenly he wasn’t alone in his head anymore. Rodney was there, panicked and angry and worried and comforting all at once in a way that only Rodney could pull off. Mehra was there too, shielding him from the pain with her own strength of will. Todd was almost amused as he pointed out that the abdominal damage was not likely to prove life threatening. Wraith organs dominated in that area, and they would heal. Stackhouse was a faint shadow of the others, but John could feel him lending his strength to Mehra to block the pain.

John looked down, and black blood stained his orange uniform. A few streaks of red suggested that human tissue had taken damage as well, but John could already feel himself healing.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and O’Neill burst into the room along with Lorne and Caldwell and Woolsey. John had to look up at them, and that’s when he realized that he was on the floor, his blood seeping out from between his fingers.

“Call medical,” O’Neill ordered. Several guards had come with the officers, and with one gesture, O’Neill had them take the two guards out of the room. The one who fired still had a shocked expression like he wasn’t sure what had just happened.

“Well, you seem to be off their Christmas card list,” O’Neill said.

“Funny enough, they’re off mine too,” John said. “Geez. I was trying to annoy them into getting you, not looking to get a gut full of P-90 rounds.”

“Medical is coming,” O’Neill said.

“It looks like you underestimated how annoying you can be,” Caldwell said. There was some real heat behind the insult, but John wasn’t sure if Caldwell was upset because he thought John was lost or continuing their normally pissy relationship.

“What can I say?” John said.

“Sir, are you okay?” Lorne cringed a half second after he said it. Yeah, there was some part of him that still saw John as his CO. Todd pointed out that he would be a strong addition to hive. John pointed out that he would be better as a calm influence on Atlantis.

“I’m not going to die, but if I were totally human, I’d be bleeding out right here long before Carson could show up.”

“So you’re saying it’s a good thing you’re not human?” O’Neill asked.

“Are we going to keep playing these games when I’m in horrible pain and bleeding on the floor because someone has no control over his airmen?” on that last bit, John looked over at Caldwell.

“Yep,” O’Neill agreed. “I don’t give a shit about your pain, but I’m really interested in why you provoked an armed guard.”

“Maybe I’m just not that bright,” John said.

“I’d believe that,” Caldwell said. Woolsey, Lorne, and O’Neill all remained silent.

 

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

John struggled to wake. His body felt weak—no, worse--he felt fragile, and something was missing. John could feel the panic start, and then there was a chittering song that echoed in his bones. He felt it more than he heard it. His back felt warm and vibrations settled through his body. Safe, they said. Safe and home. John opened his eyes, and someone sat beside him, but they looked strange. It was like there was a transparent layer, and John could see a person, but all these other colors streaked across the film so that John couldn't recognize him.

Another figure moved, and John's eyes snapped to the movement even though John wanted to keep looking at the first person. Todd. Hive. John looked at Todd's strong features, his complex tattoos, and he felt a protective warmth rush through him. Todd valued him, cared for him. They were hive together. Safe.

But he shouldn’t feel that way. John knew that. His last memory of Todd had been after John had demanded that he do the transformation without addicting John to the enzyme. The pain had been indescribable. The memory of it made John burn fever hot, and then Todd was there, his hand tracing the edge of John’s face. It shouldn’t feel good, but it did. John couldn’t control his relief at having Todd’s attention and protection.

Todd was old. Older than John had suspected. John caught an image—Todd without any tattoos running through an Alterian ship, firing his weapon at Ancients who screamed. Todd was so angry. He hated them because they had created his kind, starved them, experimented on them, and when they decided they couldn’t find the secret to immortality in the Wraith DNA, began to execute them. The scientists had hurt Todd so much, had killed hive mates, had killed queens whose sweet songs colored the world.

“You *would* start there. That is an old memory. You do not need to go there, hive mate,” Todd said. Only he didn’t say it. He chittered and projected. The word “memory” had flavors and shades that the word “old” could only approximate. “You are beautiful.”

John was suddenly aware of how Todd saw him. Todd saw the Wraith flesh and was proud of the beauty and strength now fused to John. He was proud of bringing John into hive. Hive would be strong again. Todd was such a bright presence in John’s mind that he wallowed in the growing awareness of Todd for a long time. It was like waking after a life of being blind to find he could suddenly see. Every motion, even emotion, every memory and word made his mind spin.

Slowly he noticed other thoughts. Sharper, more vivid. The new thoughts were somehow bright, as if John sometimes had to squint to look at them. Todd would shield him then, but now that John knew that other was there, he fought toward him. Something called him.

“You idiot.”

Those were the first words that John could pick out of the rush of information that seemed to flood him. “Rodney?” He could feel the love, the anger, the exasperation that matched Rodney, but he could also feel a fear, a desperation and a tentativeness John had never associated with him.

“That is the real Rodney you now see,” Todd said. Or maybe Todd felt that and John only absorbed the thoughts. He wasn’t sure. 

“I can’t believe you let him hurt you. Do you have any idea how it felt to see you in pain like that?” Rodney shoved images at him—John strapped down as Todd pulled his back open, the blood, the screaming. John gagged as Rodney pushed the memory of the sound into his head. John had screamed the entire time the drones had put him into the pod, and the screams had continued as the nutrient fluids filled the pod until John’s cries became desperate gurgles and then quieted.

John remembered the pain—the fluid pushing against his lungs and the fire burning his back. 

“Nice. Yes. Make me live it again.” Rodney moved forward, and John’s vision snapped to him and sharpened so that John could actually see him. Before he could do anything else, Rodney punched him in the arm. “You can’t take seeing me in pain so you make me watch that?” Rodney demanded.

John let his own feelings flood the space between them. John deserved every moment of pain. He’d failed Rodney. He should have protected his friend. His best friend.

Rodney stilled. John waited for the confirmation that yes, he had deserved it all and more. Instead Rodney wrapped strong arms around him and pulled him close. It was like there was no separation because they were one. Rodney pushed so much love at John, that even John couldn’t hold it out. He didn’t deserve it. He’d failed. But still, Rodney pushed and pushed and pushed, and John had long ago learned to give up once Rodney got something into his head. 

“You idiot. I never want you to feel pain. Not ever,” Rodney whispered. John could feel Todd like the cooling center of his reality, and now he felt the throb of team-team-team from Mehra and Stackhouse—her much more than him. John was going to have to get used to this, so he let himself sink back down into sleep, his mind open to his hive.

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

Even John couldn’t walk with a dozen P-90 rounds through his innards, so he was on a stretcher in restraints. Jennifer Keller had responded to the medical emergency, but she had taken one look at John and had run away crying. One of the nurses followed her, while the others all worked on John, hooking up IVs and pressing dressings to his shredded abdomen. A human definitely would have died.

O’Neill stood back and watched, and John tried to remain passive as the medical team worked. None of them noticed his palms grow sticky, but when a nurse smiled at him, John caught her hand. She squeezed it and patted him on the arm. “You’ll be fine. Carson is the best,” she whispered before she let go. John released her just as quickly. Hopefully she would touch critical computer systems in the next day or so. The seeds he had left her would not survive outside the crystals of an Ancient computer.

“Let’s go. Move it, people,” Carson said, and he grabbed for John’s hand as two of the staff started pushing the stretch. “You’ll be fine lad. You shouldn’t be fine, but that Wraith biology is hard to beat for sheer durability.”

John almost felt guilty about how easily he seeded Carson’s hands. He might touch command systems. That would be best. While the seeds could slowly move and infect new systems on their own, there was small chance that Radek might notice a slight difference in the infected and uninfected crystals. It was best to infect as many of them as possible in as short a time as he could.

As they travelled, John caught glances of most of his old staff. Ameilia Banks and Lieutenant Miller, Major Jordan and Dr. Donaldson. Lieutenant Crown and Captain Harris. They all watched him pass, some with horror and others with such pain that it surprised John. Anne Teldy was there, and John felt Mehra push forward, longing for her old team mate. John never thought he was that special to the people of Atlantis. He saw himself as a gate team leader who had lucked into a job as a CO, but these people were grieving his loss. John’s world was a little shaken.

Rodney was suddenly there, focusing on him, and John flinched at the suddenness of his appearance in John’s mind.

Carson patted his arm and held his hand tighter. “We’re almost there. I’ll get you some pain killers right off.”

John ignored him and focused on Rodney. Rodney sent through a strong, empathic “told you so,” when he realized that John was surprised at the others’ reactions. Yes, John had come to terms with the fact he had self-worth issues. John poked the part of Rodney’s brain where he kept his own insecurities, and Rodney made a grudging admission that they were both pathetic. He then retreated, leaving John to deal with Earthers and Lanteans.

Carson was good for his word, and he quickly set John up with an IV of painkillers he didn’t need. 

“Are you ready to finish our conversation?” O’Neill asked. Getting gut shot hadn’t earned John any sympathy points with the general.

“You willna be upsetting him or I’ll ban you from my infirmary, clear?” Carson demanded.

“Hey, hey, let’s not get all cranky,” John said, “besides, the general is right that I was doing a little provoking myself.”

O’Neill raised his eyebrows at Carson in clear challenge, but Carson was not one to back down in his own infirmary. John rolled his eyes. “Carson, I’m fine. Go find some sick people to treat.” John didn’t add a request that Carson go touch every sensitive computer system in the city.

For a second, Carson seemed torn. He looked from O’Neill to John and then back at O’Neill before pointing a finger at the general. “If he has one additional bruise, I’ll file the complaint myself,” he warned, and John felt a flash of need-want as he thought about Carson’s intelligence and passion being folded into the hive. Then Carson left, and John was strapped to a bed in an isolation room with one very unhappy general. 

“He’s passionate,” O’Neill commented.

“It’s why I wanted him back as head of medicine, even if he is a cloned him,” John said.

O’Neill gave him a very hard look. “Explain why you would provoke those guards, and maybe I won’t throw you through a space gate without a puddle jumper.”

John gave an awkward shrug. “I had to know what you’re saying to your people in private. Are they on edge because you’re looking for a way to screw Todd over or are you telling them to treat us with kid gloves because we are potential allies? I guess I have my answer.”

“You can’t be stupid enough to believe we’d talk truce with that thing.” O’Neill’s temper was clearly fraying.

“I think you’re smart enough to see that Todd always has a long-term play going. He is not a young queen who will turn on a new ally for a moment’s advantage.”

“We don’t deal with terrorists. This Todd of yours has essentially terrorized Atlantis with a program of kidnapping.”

“In his defense, we did start the whole kidnapping thing, or have you forgotten Michael?” John now understood the true hard they’d done to that Wraith in cutting it off from the hive that offered both companionship and protection. Without the hive, John didn’t know what would happen to him. It would be like ripping out entire senses, robbing the brain of entire ways of thinking, and then shoving him out to deal with it himself. John didn’t think he’d survive.

“Carson is trying to find a way to isolate the human portions of your brain, but he doesn’t believe there’s any way to repair your body.”

“Repair implies there’s something wrong with me as I am,” John said. “There is not. I am stronger, faster, and I will live longer.”

“Because you’re part Wraith,” O’Neill pointed out, and the air was sharp with his displeasure.

“The Wraith are the creations of the Ancients no less than the gates or the jumpers or Atlantis herself. How can you revere so many of the Ancients’ works and loathe the Wraith?”

O’Neill took a step closer to the bed. “You really are screwed up in the head. I hope Carson can find a way to dig the Wraith DNA out of your brain, or we’re going to be pretty limited in our choices.”

John tilted his head. “You want to lock me up.”

“I want to cure you,” O’Neill corrected him. 

John knew that wouldn’t happen. “If you aren’t going to negotiate a truce, then you need to drop me off on some world where I can make my way back to Todd.”

“Not going to happen,” O’Neill said.

“Then you’re declaring war on Todd,” John warned.

O’Neill smiled. “I’m actually good with that.”

“You’re declaring war on Rodney,” John said flatly.

O’Neill didn’t have a quick quip for that. 

“They will come for me, and Todd will force those of us who are changed to fight against you. I will have to shoot men and women I respect, and I retain enough of myself that I will know that it’s wrong and I’ll regret it, but I will never be able to choose humans over my hive. Rodney is exactly the same, only far scarier because he fights with planet busting bombs and nuclear reactions. Think very carefully before you decide that you have the upper hand here,” John warned. He was very serious about that. Todd never acted without having plans within plans, and John did not want Atlantis and his hive at war with each other.

“Colonel, you aren’t in a position to negotiate,” O’Neill said. With that he walked out. John sighed. So much for doing this the easy way. He had been lying there about an hour before someone stuck his head around the corner. 

“Colonel Sheppard?”

John smiled. “Radek. Hey.”

“They say the soldiers shot you. Many times.” Radek eased his way into the room, and for a second he had the door open, and John could see Woolsey, Caldwell, and O’Neill all huddled in the outer infirmary. They should have included Lorne, and John felt indigent on Lorne’s behalf. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Luckily, John trusted Todd to come up with a solution. John just had to do his part.

“Yeah, they hit mostly Wraith organs. Luckily they heal fast or Rodney would have followed me into the next world shrieking ‘I told you so’ at the top of his lungs.”

Radek chuckled. “No, he would have chased you through the next three lifetimes,” he corrected John.

“True,” John admitted. “Hey, I have an itch on my shoulder, do you think you could get it?” he asked, giving his restraints a quick pull.

“Yes, yes, of course.” Radek sounded very happy to help, but he moved slowly and watched John as though expecting an attack at any time.

“Radek, I wouldn’t hurt you,” John said softly.

“The others, they say Todd controls you now, that you admit this.” Radek clearly wasn’t comfortable, but he still moved to John’s side and scratched his shoulder.

“If Todd were here, he could make me feel whatever he wanted. He could make me feel homicidally angry, and I might kill you,” John admitted. “But part of me would still know that Todd was manipulating me and I wouldn’t like it. That would strain the hive, so Todd will probably avoid that sort of direct manipulation. He’s more of a subtle guy, anyway.” John could feel his palms itch with a need to touch Radek. If he could seed Radek’s hands, Radek would carry the infection into the heart of every computer system on Atlantis.

“Todd? Subtle? Not so much, I think.”

“Hey, if he weren’t, I would have been dead several times over,” John pointed out. “He’s older than most Wraith, and he definitely sees things a little different. Look at what he’s done. He’s brought into his life hive mates who still have human emotions. Wraith are calm thinkers. Their hive minds are like still water, and he brought Rodney into that without doing anything to change him.”

“Like bringing in tornado, is my guess.”

“Several tornadoes that occasional converge on one spot,” John agreed. He held his hand out, counting on Radek’s instinct for polite behavior. It never would have worked on Rodney, but Radek did take his hand. John gave it a quick squeeze. “We’re going to work this out so we can be allies, even if we’re not friends,” John promised. He quickly let go of Radek’s hand before he could think too much of it.

Radek looked down at him. The infirmary door opened, and Carson stood there with a concerned expression, so John guessed that O’Neill’s little conference wasn’t going John’s way. “Feeling better then?” Carson asked.

John started to answer, but then Radek grabbed John’s hand in both of his and squeezed hard. “You tell Rodney that I expect him to find a way for us to still be friends. I might have been his friend, but he was also mine.” Radek held on so tightly that the glands in John’s hands were all but squeezed dry. And then Radek hurried out of the room, taking millions of John’s seeds with him.

Carson watched him go with such a sad expression that John ached for him. They were all so alone, humans. They were cut off from any companion who could actually occupy the same mental space with them. They communicated only through words, which now felt to John as efficient as trying to explain a flight engine’s schematics using only pantomime. Humanity was such an awkward condition that he didn’t know how he’d survived it.

“We’re all still struggling with your loss, Colonel. Poor Kate, if she were alive now there’d be a line at her door.”

John didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent as Carson checked his wounds and told him stories. It wasn’t the hive—it wasn’t home and comfort—but Carson made it as comfortable as any not-hive place could be. Of course what the others didn’t know was that John still had the web of hive-mind sheltering him and holding him close, and now he had a growing awareness of the life that was growing inside Atlantis’ halls and consoles. 

John’s plan might have sucked, but Todd’s was working beautifully. 

 

 

And I'm going to say again that I don't *plan* to go anywhere with this, so if you want to write the rest, feel free.


	3. Possible futures

Let the sequels/continuations begin...  
  
  
 **[Hive John- Addition by puddlejumper38](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1698311)**  
Summary: An addition to LitGal's Hive John which fits in after chapter two. LitGal kindly left the story open for other authors to write more of it and so I came up with this. LitGal then very kindly gave me permission to post it here. Note: This continues on directly from chapter 2 of Hive John by LitGal.

Send me your link to your ending, and I'll link it in here.


End file.
